Drawing Characters With Boobs

So, I was thinking of this topic again. I first was thinking about how to get over my thing of drawing them.

Here's my thing. I can't draw boobs on characters that canonically has them cause it doesn't feel right to me. It feels personal and I feel like I have to get consent from the characters before I can draw their boobs, clothed or otherwise. It seems pretty ridiculous, but that's how I am and that's how I feel. I want to be able to draw all of a character that has boobs cause I feel like their body is a part of who they are, and all of their body should be present along with the character's awesome personality/soul/reason why I love them (smarts, smugness, ect.). I can't, however, cause fictional characters can't give consent.

So the first thing I thought of was like how the native americans hunted and did the whole "Thanks for giving your life so I can live" and such before eating. I'd basically be all "Sorry if you don't give consent, but thanks for helping me practice" and such before everytime I draw the character's breasts. I was thinking of that, but it still didn't feel right, and I just had it lingering in my head while doing other things.

Later I had a feeling that I wanted to try drawing naked boobs to try and conquer my thing, but first I made a folder and put some pics in to use for reference. Afterward, I was trying to convince myself to start drawing, but I couldn't, and since I was thinking in the back of my mind on how to draw/what to draw, an idea got into my head do to a tutorial pic I have.

The tutorial pic says something about how they use something called "The Bikini Method", were they draw a bikini as if it was strapped around the back of the neck. I was thinking about trying the method, so my thought process was the maybe I should start by drawing them in an actual bikini first, and then take it off or put more clothes on them.

However as I sat there trying to convince myself to do it, I got more nervous and sad and upset, and that started to fuel my sex drive (cause I made a bad habit long ago of coping with my problems through doing the M thing, and so when I get depressed and such, my body's starts wanting to do it, tho not in an enjoyable way for me.) But I saw what was happening and thought that I need to find a way to counter getting nervous while "trying" to draw boobs, cause I don't want to be swayed by my horniness on how I draw them and such, cause I really want the drawing to be about the character, and not solely about their boobs. So I need to break the habit somehow. (tho I need to break it in general)

I was about to be consumed by the unwanted horny feelings that only wanted sexual stuff so I'd "cope with my feelings", but then I truthfully asked myself if I needed body excitement, or soul excitement, and obviously I answered with soul. Whatever I would do at that moment, I wanted it to excite my soul and make my inside-inside feel great, which sexual things by themselves doesn't do at all. That's when it hit me.

What about the soul? I want to draw all of characters because I was attracted to their souls and such, and I want to express how I feel about these characters and everything! So how am I gonna draw them, with boobs, in a way that shows off my interpretation of their souls, or impacts someone's soul! So I came up with an idea that I like, where I draw character's topless, and have them say something inspirational. Topless in a non-sexual, casual way, hopefully that can express who they are a bit, and say something inspirational (that I'd rather not be a boring inspirational quote, something more uncommon and not often talked or thought about) to impact other people's souls and maybe even lives! I might draw them in a bikini first cause of that one technique, but still! I'd be drawing boobs for a purpose! It'd be a great starting point, and it's right up-my-ally too cause there would be nudity, but in a way that's not sexual, and the pic itself will be more than sexual, exciting the soul, making the soul feel great!

So yeah, just wanted to share my feelings and thought process about this. Thanks for reading!