Sunday Sketch (kinda): Shadona

Hey! It's been a while since I did a Sunday Sketch, so I decided to do one in the middle of the week. Anyway, I'll be posting all the pics of it here!

The very rough sketch. Doesn't look like much of anything really. Had to go back and indicate ribs for the breasts to sit on, in order to get them right. ;;

The final sketch/line work on top of the rough sketch. I like these kind of pics cause it sort of shows how I got from point A to point B as well as how I used the rough sketch.

The final sketch by itself looks pretty legit. I was gonna do coloring before adding eyes and the last bit of hair by her neck. OTL (Though she's a shadow spirit, so it's not really hair, anyway...)

I added colors and took the lineart away just to see what the colors by themselves look, and they looked pretty cool so here!

And here's the finished thing so far. I might go back later and try to add some shading and make her have some depth and look more 3D.

She was fun to draw, and quick to draw, but I think those things were affected by the fact that her design is simple. ;w; Hopefully I'll do another Sunday Sketch soon!

What I might (have to) do

I was thinking this morning (I kinda forgot about what I was thinking before this thought) and I had this thought that maybe what I have to do to get somewhere with my life is to temporarily ignore some of my pursuits and focus on one at a time, and the thing I think I should focus on first is my health. If my back's hurting, then I can't do ANYTHING so that's a big problem. A friend of mine says that I need to drink more milk and walk around instead of laying down all the time, so I guess I'll focus on those things.

However I think it'd be best to try and combine my efforts(?). Like, stemming from my (as of now) health main path, I could look for bottles as an excuse to walk around more, which combines 'getting money' and 'working on health'. So even tho I'd be getting a little money, it's not my main focus, just a little side thing to make it seem like I'm multitasking.

I don't really like this idea, but's it's probably my best shot. While working on my health, I'll probably be very impatient on everything. I may even become anxious cause of little to no progress in all the other fields, but I'll try my best, and hopefully my friends will be there to remind me about the important things. I'd like to thank Joy these past few days. She has been texting me on Twitter trying to help me, though to be honest I don't believe she had a real clue of what was really going on with me, but then again it's probably best she doesn't know all the details. Still though, she kind of kept me on the ball of thinking about how to change things (and punch the universe in the face) instead of wallowing in what I can't do. 

I'll still try to keep turning my fun time into progress time though, since that seemed to work a bit for me when I tried it. It just really makes me lash out when something upsets me. I most likely will have to find a way to counter that. I may have to combine that to my health main path somehow too.

And helping others might help in the 'walking around' department, as long as I don't strain myself. Who knows, I might even get stuff I need in return.~ Not gonna count on it though. Anyway, thanks for reading.~

Sunday Sketch:Kid Demon Queen

Ok so I decided to do this event called Sunday Sketch where I'd sketch something project-related and post it on Monday. I thought of this on a Monday and didn't feel like waiting, so I did it then, and got distracted Tuesday, so here it is Wednesday and I'm posting the pics here instead of just twitter cause of more than one pic. ;w;

This one is both sketch drawings with the ref pic I used. (though I really only used the smile. ;w;)

The original sketch. A bit hard to see cause of how light it is. ;;

And the final sketch I did on top of the original in a different layer.

If you have trouble seeing the pics, I believe you can click on them to make them bigger and see more detail. Anyway, I kinda drew her younger than I wanted to, and her hair is more poofier so she looks more adorable than I anticipated. ;w; I kinda like the hair in the original better though. The not-so-smooth lines give her hair a sort of puffy-fluffy look that I like more than the smoother curves of the final.

But yeah! I hope I can put out more of these to come! These sketches aren't necessarily going to all be canon. Just rough stuff that I think I might add or have in the game at the time I draw them.

Friends After School

It's been about 3 years after I graduated high school. High school wasn't really a great thing for me at all, especially after graduating, but this blog post is about the friend component of graduating. I'll talk about my story and then my thoughts about the component in general.

When I graduated, it wasn't easy. I was told from someone who was from Michigan Works, a company that tries to find people jobs, that noone was willing to hire me cause of my heart surgery. I took it as I wouldn't be able to get a job, like how my mother can't cause of her seizures. I was depressed, and trying for Social Security Disability Income since I thought I wouldn't be able to get a job, where just that thought severely pissed me off. Some friends still came over, but slowly stopped.

One friend slowly stopped cause I didn't have money. Another stayed for like a week though he didn't seem all interested in me (don't really blame him, he has his own life), and then went to Florida soon after he left. Idk if he still thinks of us as friends, but I feel like we grown apart. And then there was the mysterious one of them all, my current irl friend that stayed throughout.

At first we didn't really know each other that well. He was a year below me, and apparently knew me from middle school. He probably didn't hang around me much then and only through association, and then we didn't go to the same school for a year, so that's probably why I didn't know him even though he knew who I was. So we weren't real pal-ly at first, maybe. I can't really say what his intentions were or how he felt about me then.

Anyway, back to the after-graduation time, he'd come around and hang out. Sometimes he was nice company, but other times not really. Sometimes not at all, mostly cause of my depression and frustration, and lack of people skills.

As times pass, we had been there in a few of each other's tough times. After that I didn't really get so frustrated at him anymore, cause I had my own problems (most of which I still didn't even want to share) but he was having problems with people betraying him and making external problems for him, when mine were just hearing people say tons of different things and I didn't know what to do and I was just scared of my life being fucked over. For him, I was there when someone tried breaking
in cause they heard that he stole their little brother's bag of clothes when really it was a friend of his girlfriend (at that time) who did it and tried framing him.

Then some time ago, like 6 months or more, I asked myself why he sticks ago me. He doesn't seem to like what I like, the only things that seem to be common interests is some anime we'd watch together, and playing yugioh tcg, tho I'm not that much into yugioh, it's fun to play sometimes. I don't have money, and now that I don't have internet, so why does he keep coming around? I don't hate him, and he's not really annoying. He was at first but as time passes, he got less annoying. Probably cause I know a bit more how he works and his feelings toward things. Now though, I'm the one that mostly annoys him at times. But during this time, I couldn't understand why he keeps wanting to hang out with me.

Last month I kinda got my answer. I never asked him, but he told me that I was one of 2 people he can actually trust. From that I can now understand why he hangs around me, though I kinda wanted more cause that answers my question, but that doesn't really tell me how he feels about me or what he thinks about me. (I kinda got that answer a couple weeks ago where he said I was like a brother to him, and he also commented that I probably don't know what that's like cause I'm an only child. He's right, but yeah, we're definitely on good terms now.) Still though, just because he trusts me doesn't mean that I'm reliable, cause in my eyes I'm really not.

So my thoughts on the friends after school thing. It's really just something that happens I think. You just don't know who's gonna stay or leave, for whatever reasons, and sometimes you won't even know the reasons. But there's another side to it too. Some may leave, but there are also those that seemingly WON'T leave your life, and you might not know the reasons right away. I didn't learn the reason till about 3 years after graduating! It's kinda crazy, but idk, I think it might be for the best. I'm not thinking about all the reasonings behind how or why people will stay in your life, I'm only thinking of what it's been like for me, but from that I think it's for the best cause the ones who are left are people who have real reason to be in your life.

Potential Money Options

Last Thursday, I went to a LIFELeadership house plan meeting. It wasn't all that great, it was small, only one new person came, and they had to leave in the middle of it. But I took an opportunity and I told the hosts, after everyone else left, about my situation and asked that if they need anything small done that they could call me and I'll do it for small money.

Also, they kinda gave me suggestions of such things I could do, I assume it's cause I said I had no experience in such things like babysitting and yard work, but they brought up house-sitting, which I'm pretty certain I can do, so that's kinda got my confidence up a little.

But yeah, moving forward and adding opportunities!

Self Growth and Blog Decissions

I've done some soul searching and dug deep, and I think I might have realized something, or in the very least something about me has become clearer to me.

At first I thought I didn't like it when people are sexualized, which yes that's kinda true, but I've kind of been shown what I was doing that was wrong. To tell the truth, I don't really know what my thought process was, logically. All I can say is that I didn't see the simple truth behind sexual things. Sex and sexual stuff is a part of nature, but I had blinders on that made me view sex and sexual things by how society views and treats them-by that I mean, the ones doing it, making sexual things "have no soul" behind them. Where people's souls weren't a factor in it, which I kinda hated.

However, 2 things I realized: 1 obvious and makes me feel stupid (but hey, I evolved), and the other is just truth about myself. The first thing is that sexual things will ALWAYS be sexual. Even though I still think that being nude on it's own is just natural (according to nature, not human society) unless it's being done in a sexual way, sexual things will always be sexual, and that's not necessarily bad. Not everyone likes it, but it's not bad. I had to look up the meaning of "sexualization" just to be certain of it's definition, and I was right, it's not what I was treating it before. Sexualization-making something have a sexual quirk or nature-isn't a bad thing in general, but I can see why people can dislike it.

The second thing I realized is that the thing I greatly dislike, that I was treating sexualization as, is dehumanization. In other words, I dislike people being reduced to mere sexual tools or entertainment, like they aren't people with souls, hopes, likes, dislikes, feelings. So now sexualization is ok with me as long as dehumanization isn't involved, tho even then it can still irritate me and put me off. People can be sexualized if they want to be. People can be sexual if they want to be. (though I think they should be mindful and considerate of any people around them) But I believe they should never be dehumanized during such things, or anytime at all.

So yeah. That's how I stand right now, and I think it might be a step in the right direction for me.

Also, I realized that most of my blogs have been about sexual things or topics, so I'd like it to change. I guess the reasoning behind why that is, is because of me contemplating about sexual things lately, as well as being lost in sexual feelings from negative feelings. That might change though since I realized I have to start using my power to try and get what I want and-well, I'm derailing. Point is that I don't want this blog to be filled with sexual topics, so for now on, I'm gonna try and have at least 1 non-sexual topic one in between each sexual topic ones, so expect a non-sexual topic next!

List of Habits to Gain or Improve on

If the title of this post hasn't sunk in yet, this will be a list of habits that I should learn, habits I should lose, and habits I need to improve on in some way. I felt like doing this post to have something written that I could kinda come back to and see if I'm getting better, cause there are things I need to get better at if I want my life to go where I want it to go. I reheard and listened to a chunk from a LIFELeadership CD, and the person was saying that you don't pick your destiny, you pick your habits, and your habits pick your destiny. So I'm gonna list at least 10 habits that I can work on that I believe would make my life better, a little at a time, but still better.

1: When I feel like doing anything sexual, ask myself if I'm actual horny, or if I'm just gonna use it to cope with my problems or feelings. If it's coping, then don't do it and try to something else to do that can cheer me up. Otherwise, then try to make the session have soul, so it's not completely sexual. (Basically make it excite a feeling other than horniness by making it cute, funny, ect)

2: Walk everyday (that I can). At least around 1 block, once a day. I don't know if that'd help my back or not, but I need to get up and start moving around once in a while. The great weather will be coming soon, so I'd like to be ready for it! We're in town, so I should walk or ride my bike more now!

3: Do a little of Life Wars everyday. Progress is needed and I'd love for progress to be one of my habits, tho being used to little jumps can sometimes lead to getting things done without realizing the significance at first, or without realizing that the things got done. Like with what happened with the Succubus Kingdom bakstory!

4: Try to talk to people more. Maybe even strangers (on the internet) to try and get more experience when it comes to talking to people in general.

5: Talk/promote Life Wars. If I talk more about my game, then it's more likely that people will gain interest, and hopefully talk to me/have discussions about it so I know for certain people are interested. ;w; I'm doing this cause I want to put Life Wars, and what it means to me, out into the world, however it'd just be more fun if like people talk about it and I can have 2-way discussion about my game with people. ;w;

6: Be on look out for bottles. While I'm outside, I could look around for some cause I could use more money. I just need to develop the habit and it'll cash in eventually.

7: Take showers more. It'll most likely make me feel better.

8: Brush teeth before bed. I usually don't brush them cause I don't want the toothpaste taste to make whatever I'm eating taste horrible, or ruin the buzz of taste of the thing I just ate, so I think doing it before bed might solve this problem.

9: Do something for my happiness. There are times I get caught in what I should be doing and what I'd like to work on/do. These things can be very draining, physically, mentally, or both, and there are times where I need to step back, and even though most of these things are for me, some times they don't make me happy, or they usually make me happy but the timing is off. I gotta do something for my happiness once in a while, even if it's just to do nothing for a while and try to enjoy some peace.

And I can't think of anymore. I was close though. Was I'll have this list so I can have something to go on. Thanks for reading!

"Make it have soul"

I have a little saying when it comes to sexual things that revolves around "soul", and I was thinking of a better way to explain this, and I think I have an explanation.

When I refer to excitement of body and soul, it's basically things that makes the body want things and feel good (most times I'm referring to the body wanting sexual things) and things that makes the soul want things and feel good (like, for me, fashion, puns, morals, ect). I don't know of anyone where pure sexual things can excite their souls, but I'm not gonna say it's not possible, it's just not possible for me. So when I say things like to give something sexual more soul, I'm basically saying to make it be more than just sexual.

I bring this up cause of something I'm gonna post later, hopefully after this post. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Succubi/Incubi in Life Wars

Alright, well I basically got done and came up with the Succubus/Incubus race and kingdom backstories 3 days before I realized what I had was final-draftish. But hey, it's good so I'll post my notes on their race first, then the kingdom.
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Race Notes:

Succubi need semen to remain healthy, and need it administered either in the mouth or vagina. (vagina bit wasn't in research, but decided to make it so)

Incubi are kinda the same where they'd need vagina sexual fluids and can get them into their bodies by consuming by mouth, or from vaginal sex where the fluids are absorbed by their penis.

In my research of Succubi, I came across this interesting line of "Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with a succubus may result in deterioration of health or even death." and I'm deciding on keeping it for non succubi/incubi.

They need about 10 cubic centimeters of sexual fluids from the opposite sex a month to be healthy. They can die from poor nutrition within a week if fluid intake is low the month before, and little to none the month after.

They don't need to eat food, however eating food can help them live longer if mel nourished so they could live a little longer for a chance to get sexual fluids in the future. It could also be used as a little boost of energy, for things like getting up in the morning.

Succubi/Incubi have special eggs/sperm that usually only effects their race. It is extremely rare for a human to have an incubus's child, and for a succubus to be impregnated by a human. Other humanoid races aren't effected at all, and succubi/incubi don't go after non-humanoid races at all.

A child succubus/incubus usually "leaves the nest" by age 21 (looks 14(ratio is 3/2)) and don't need sexual fluids to survive till puberty, which is usually around this age.

They have tails, wings, and horns. They can use their magical powers to conceal their horns. They could do the same for their wings and tail, however don't need to since they can retract their wings and hide their tails in clothing most times. Most incubi don't have wings, and aren't suppose to, however some are born with a rare gene that allows them to grow wings.

The above note lead to this one later: Ages ago, the Succubi/Incubi only raped people for their sexual fluids, and only practiced consent through their own race. One day however, someone of the race got ahold of a book of magical spells, learned some of the spells to disguise themselves as different races, and figured out ways to get sex/sexual fluids that's easier and less of a hassle than rape. Because of this, they used the new techniques to seduce willing people and even used prostitution to get the nutrition they need. After having a child, they passed the spells along to their spouse and kids to help them out. Many generations later, the spells are known and used by many Succubi and Incubi, and thus the race raped way less, to about the same amount of rapes the human race does a year.

Most have high sex drives and most aren't sexually sensitive, so most don't feel much pleasure from sex, but their bodies make them crave it cause their bodies need the sexual fluids to survive.

And then there's this one where I'm not certain if I'll have it as a trait or not yet, where they're strongly resistant to STDs (when healthy?). So yeah, that one's a little iffy.
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Kingdom Notes:

Long ago was mostly solitary creatures that stayed in families till child "leaves the nest"

A succubus/incubus wanted to help race thrive, so started a group (how?)* and started to learn farming and farmed food for mel nourished succubi/incubi.

(how?)*= maybe started a service from the farming and their idea(s)/efforts inspired others to contribute.

No real "Human to Succubus" trading ever went on, so no real allies to depend on.

And the actual storyline I thought up for the kingdom:

As the Succubi Kingdom formed, the residence felt like the "need" to rape was getting thinner and thinner, to which they were thinking about setting laws against it. However that lifestyle came to an end.

A powerful sorcerer named Tirek arrived one day and made a scene in the middle of the kingdom. He shouted about how a neighboring human village investigated a matter on why several people were getting mysteriously weaker and weaker as time passed. The one the village sent out to investigate found out that everyone with such conditions were having sex with prostitutes that were succubi and incubi in disguise. Assuming they came from the Succubi kingdom that recently formed a little ways from their village, they hired Tirek to put a stop to the prostitution deception. And so, in the middle of the kingdom, Tirek Conjured up a strong magical spell that stole all the magical ability from the residence of the kingdom. He started to leave when some of the inheritance figured out what had happened, and attacked Tirek, but were no match for Tirek's magical strength. With no magical abilities to disguise themselves, the whole kingdom's "only" way to get the fluids they need to survive were to rape like in old times, and the current queen made the difficult discussion to start kidnapping people to use as the kingdoms sex slaves.
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So yeah, this will work nicely into the Succubi/Demon Clan war and how I plan on it resolving.

Spoons

I don't have as many spoons as other people have. I've kinda accepted it now. Kinda. So I'm gonna have to think smarter in order to use my spoons more effectively. I'm not getting where I want at the pace I want it, so I'd have to come up with ways to use my spoons better. It's gonna be a bit tough, but worth it.

I have to develop better wits and thinking, and most likely bad habits are gonna get in the way. I have to evolve, but what methods am I to use to meet my conditions for it?

Well for one, I think I should do more thought provoking things, like puzzle games and such. And once my brain starts to fizzle out, I could take a big break till I can think again without my head exploding. Other than that though, I have no other real leads.

The iffy suggestions I have are to maybe keep more in touch with friends when I'm feeling sad or upset. Maybe be more open with my problems so people can present me with more options or better information that on my own I couldn't see or didn't have. Anyway, this is just some thoughts I've been having. Thanks for reading.

Drawing Characters With Boobs

So, I was thinking of this topic again. I first was thinking about how to get over my thing of drawing them.

Here's my thing. I can't draw boobs on characters that canonically has them cause it doesn't feel right to me. It feels personal and I feel like I have to get consent from the characters before I can draw their boobs, clothed or otherwise. It seems pretty ridiculous, but that's how I am and that's how I feel. I want to be able to draw all of a character that has boobs cause I feel like their body is a part of who they are, and all of their body should be present along with the character's awesome personality/soul/reason why I love them (smarts, smugness, ect.). I can't, however, cause fictional characters can't give consent.

So the first thing I thought of was like how the native americans hunted and did the whole "Thanks for giving your life so I can live" and such before eating. I'd basically be all "Sorry if you don't give consent, but thanks for helping me practice" and such before everytime I draw the character's breasts. I was thinking of that, but it still didn't feel right, and I just had it lingering in my head while doing other things.

Later I had a feeling that I wanted to try drawing naked boobs to try and conquer my thing, but first I made a folder and put some pics in to use for reference. Afterward, I was trying to convince myself to start drawing, but I couldn't, and since I was thinking in the back of my mind on how to draw/what to draw, an idea got into my head do to a tutorial pic I have.

The tutorial pic says something about how they use something called "The Bikini Method", were they draw a bikini as if it was strapped around the back of the neck. I was thinking about trying the method, so my thought process was the maybe I should start by drawing them in an actual bikini first, and then take it off or put more clothes on them.

However as I sat there trying to convince myself to do it, I got more nervous and sad and upset, and that started to fuel my sex drive (cause I made a bad habit long ago of coping with my problems through doing the M thing, and so when I get depressed and such, my body's starts wanting to do it, tho not in an enjoyable way for me.) But I saw what was happening and thought that I need to find a way to counter getting nervous while "trying" to draw boobs, cause I don't want to be swayed by my horniness on how I draw them and such, cause I really want the drawing to be about the character, and not solely about their boobs. So I need to break the habit somehow. (tho I need to break it in general)

I was about to be consumed by the unwanted horny feelings that only wanted sexual stuff so I'd "cope with my feelings", but then I truthfully asked myself if I needed body excitement, or soul excitement, and obviously I answered with soul. Whatever I would do at that moment, I wanted it to excite my soul and make my inside-inside feel great, which sexual things by themselves doesn't do at all. That's when it hit me.

What about the soul? I want to draw all of characters because I was attracted to their souls and such, and I want to express how I feel about these characters and everything! So how am I gonna draw them, with boobs, in a way that shows off my interpretation of their souls, or impacts someone's soul! So I came up with an idea that I like, where I draw character's topless, and have them say something inspirational. Topless in a non-sexual, casual way, hopefully that can express who they are a bit, and say something inspirational (that I'd rather not be a boring inspirational quote, something more uncommon and not often talked or thought about) to impact other people's souls and maybe even lives! I might draw them in a bikini first cause of that one technique, but still! I'd be drawing boobs for a purpose! It'd be a great starting point, and it's right up-my-ally too cause there would be nudity, but in a way that's not sexual, and the pic itself will be more than sexual, exciting the soul, making the soul feel great!

So yeah, just wanted to share my feelings and thought process about this. Thanks for reading!

Take My Pleasures Seriously

Ok so this post/thought process began with me wanting to "go out and experience the world" so to speak, though that'd be a little hard since I don't have internet to look and research things outside of my familiar zone. I felt like this at the library while on their computers.

When I got home, I took what I downloaded and integrated them onto my computer. Outside was wet, but not rainy, and I guess walking home in that contributed to my calm and refreshed, but still yearning for something, mood. Anyway after I got everything on to my computer, I remembered a pic I got from my friend Joy's picture blog, and it was a pic of a sidewalk with the message "Take your pleasure seriously" permanently in the cement like the occasional shoe-print you'd sometimes see in sidewalks. It was then I kinda figured out what I was longing for! I wanted to explore more about the things that I liked and pleases me and illuminates my soul! (which is why I felt like getting internet was more connected to the "going out and experiencing the world" feeling I was getting than the thought of going out and experiencing real life in town)

Things like fashion, puns, deep thoughts, my demons, Earth, the potential of humans, pictures, drawings, animation, video games, and even some NSFW things though I prefer them to be more than sexual. That's one of them too though! Sexual things that contain sass, humor, love, kindness, intelligence, bonding of the soul, and most importantly consent. I want to experience what the world has of these things, thinks of these things, the culture of these things, and my true feelings and thoughts about them, like why I like them and stuff. I want to explore them with an open heart and mind.

So yeah, that explains that feeling. I don't really have any ideas on how to do this without internet, but hey, that doesn't mean I can't still try! Maybe I could try to be more open about my interests on twitter? Who knows.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

Thinking about myself

I've been thinking and I believe that how I am is that if I fall in love with someone and they like me back, then yeah I'd be interesting in doing some sexual things with them if they give me consent for it, but I don't need sex and if there's no fun or love at all when we do it then I definitely don't want to do it. Love and fun is a relationship is what matters most to me, and I wouldn't like any sexual experience I have to be merely sexual. Also there would most likely be babysteps that I'd want to make before "jumping into big water" so I probably won't give consent till such things are done, but yeah. I've just been thinking about that.

Mad Lib Game

Ok so I've had this idea for a Mad Lib video game for a while, but it's mostly been just "I'd like to play that". Now tho, I've been brainstorming ideas of how I'd like such a game to be as well as some concepts that should be put into consideration while making such a game.

First tho, if you don't know what Mad Libs are, they're little games where (speaking from playing only online ones) you're asked to fill out a list of words, and they'll ask for specifics, like a noun for one blank, a verb for another, ect. When you fill this out and continue, it puts those words you gave it into blanks in a short story, which often times leads to a funny result. Ever since I thought that this should be used in a video game, I instantly wanted it.

I'm thinking of developing such a game, but it'll be a side project cause Life Wars is my main right now. Other than the brainstorm list I have for it, I also got a list of RPG plots and such that I think would be really helpful! To make it more adventurous and have the player be more excited about wanting to see how the story unfolds, it'd probably be a good idea to have the storylines be random in some way, like randomized plot devices and senerios that the player will face as well as the main plot (which can be random too). If it's not like this, it'd basically be 'same s@#%, different words" and get boring real fast.

The only important brainstorming ideas I have for this game concept is-well, I'll list them.

1: THE main thing about such a thing/what people are looking forward to is the story and how wacky or warped it becomes based on their word selection. Because of this, there must be semi-easy ways to progress the story. Fun gameplay would be great, but if it overshadows the story and/or you have to do tons of gameplay to continue (like level grind for 5 hours to beat a boss or get a key item), then its focus goes to the gameplay add the player won't feel like there's much reward for the words they put in. Idk though, maybe someone could make it work.

2: I think for the kind of game I'd want with this, the player's word choices have to feel important, so I feel like most of the words should replace key things to the story. Things like villain plans, legendary items, protag's mission, ect. Some minor replacements here and there should be ok, like in place of potions/common items, but most should go to main story stuff.

3: For me, if a word in a spot doesn't make sense in a sentence, it just kinda lets me down. Like for base/root verbs that you do to something else vs ones you do to/by yourself for example. Say we need a root verb to do to the villain and we only ask for a verb. The player puts "think" so "I will think the villain!". Not good. Most action verbs that you can do to others you can do to yourself too, so there
isn't much probability for screw ups, but still. I think it'd be better to be vaguely specific when asking for words, like what kind of nouns you want. Places, events, things, names?

But yeah, that's just my take. I think a Mad Lib game would be nice idea to develop, and would be lots of fun to make as well as play. Maybe using those RPG plots for it will let me gain better understanding of the senerios that I can use for other games.

Thanks for reading!

The World God Only Knows: Goddesses

Ok so I marathoned The World God Only Knows: Goddesses with my irl friend, Alex, and this is basically my review(?). Keep in mind though that I didn't see any of the OVAs before watching
it, so yeah. I didn't see how the 2-B Pencils got made or Kanon asking Keima if they met before, or the Tenri Arc so Tenri was new to me at the time.

So without all the OVAs in me, I watched Goddesses with my friend and yeah a bunch of stuff that we didn't know about was being talked about. My friend thought they might have added more eps, from 8 to 12, but I reminded him that I downloaded 12 eps for him so that couldn't have been it, so he reminds me of TWGOK having OVAs, so we left it at that and continued watching.

At first I didn't like the idea of Keima having to track down "Goddesses" cause I thought it'd make the anime a little too complicated to follow and just be a clusterf@#% of events happening at once, but that wasn't so, and I was actually entertained more than the last 2 seasons!

Yui was one of my favorite parts of it because she was acting like a player instead of a heroine, and it was fun seeing Keima dressed as a girl! >w< But yeah, I was routing for Yui to have a Goddess and I HOPES GOT ANSWERED!

Of course that saddest part was the whole Chihiro/Keima thing, especially at the very end. Just SOOOOO SAD! That s@#% bummed me out for like 2 days!

For the parts that I really want to see that aren't in the anime, like Yui and Tsukiyo's conquests and more, I REALLY hope they're in the manga. I want to see/experience them SOOO BAD!

TL/DR: Overall, it was a great season, tho how I'd rate it is probably right between good and great. Either way I'm left wanting to see more and waiting for a 4th season of TWGOK!

And I want to know everything I missed out on story wise, I NEED TO KNOW!

If you want to know more about what I think about TWGOK:Goddesses or TWGOK in general, hit me up with a comment!

Lets Plays

I have this secret desire to make Lets Plays, though I wouldn't really be a Lets-Player. ;w; Like I'd just do random Let's Plays of games I like and I won't do them often. I'd just do them for fun cause I'd like to play a game and kinda have people experience what I experience while being wacky, crazy, goofy and just having a blast.

Thing is though that most games I want to Lets Play, there are complications with recording and playing a game at the same time, as well with editting vids. I'd like to use Windows Movie Maker, but that thing just really dampens the vid quality when publishing vids, don't know why. In short, I'll probably need a new, beefier computer as well as my own internet before I can even do a Lets Play.

Some game's I'd like to Lets Play are:

Disgaea DS
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky
Threads of Fate

Yeah that's it, but there are some kinda one-shot vids I'd like to make playing games like Driver and Lost Saga. Maybe even Team Fortress 2, but it depends on the beefiness of the computer I get. I was told from my irl friend, Alex, that there are these computers made by some "Alien Ware" people or something that are great gaming computers, so yeah.

Try and Make Money

Because of my back problems and my heart surgery (which makes it where I can't lift over 25 pounds), I believe I don't have much of a chance when it comes to finding a job. I could probably get something like cashier for some small place, but even then my friend says that in his work experience, there will always be some guy(s) that get on your nerves and if they see that what they do bothers you, they do it more and more till you quit or something, cause that's what bullies do to make themselves feel better. He said more than that, but my thoughts on it is if it's just mental abuse that would be ok and I could try and manage, but if they do shit like that dumb SOPA thing people did in high school, I'm afraid of them doing it so much and hard that they fuck up my back more and then I REALLY won't be able to work. ;; So I probably won't pursue an actual job anymore...

My friend also suggested getting disability income, but I've applied twice and no dice. For me and my conditions, I think applying again would just be a waste of time.

The only way I can make money would be small jobs for small money-like babysitting, and doing the LIFELeadership business thing. If I can't get an actual job, then for secure money it'd be best to go full throttle with LIFELeadership. I'm not all into the community though, so it's gonna be rough.

My Back

(Alternate Title-I have no mattrice, can I sleep in yours)

Ok so since this is bothering me right now (3/14/15 11:17pm) I'm gonna talk about my bad back and how I have no mattrice.

My back is definitely not in the best condition. Ever since 2012, where I had sharp back pain for a week and sometimes I couldn't even get out of bed, I've had back problems, though they've never been as bad as that one week, since I expect it now and lay down to prevent the pain from getting too bad.

Well, since we moved from Centerville August of 2014, I left behind my mattrice since laying on it on the floor started to hurt my back instead of help. It was an old mattrice so I was ok with leaving it. We moved back to Sturgis in the outskirts and we were living with a friend of my mother cause he offered to let us stay till we found a place since we got a "notice to quit" saying our tendency was up and if we didn't move within a week, they'd evict us. At my mother's friend's place I was able to sleep on a mattrice that was alright. It had a musky smell sometimes, but I was able to sleep in an ok mattrice.

Feb of 2015 we found our own place and we still can't afford a mattrice just yet, but I have been sleeping on 2 cushions from our couch. It was ok until March when it started to become uncomfortable and actually hurts my back more. I've tried laying on them in a different way that my irl friend, Alex, suggested, and it was ok for about 4 days, but then I woke up today (3/14/15) with a REALLY sore back. Getting out and walking to the library and back seemed to make it better somehow, but I still have a dilemma of how I'm suppose to sleep now till I get a mattrice. Hopefully I can find something that works. Anyway bye for now!

UPDATE(3/16/15)

I have a set up that kinda works now. Currently it hurts my back a little, but it goes away pretty quickly after waking up. Hopefully it stays like this till I get a mattrice. Maybe I could get a pic of my setup sometime, if someone comments saying they want to see it. :3

Use of Blogger

I've been thinking of using Blogger again to blog about stuff since I can't get on tumblr and such till I get internet again.

So yeah, I'm just gonna blog about whatever, with no rhyme or reason. Use Blogger as a tool to get thoughts and feelings out of me and such, so expect more of that! Maybe!

Attack on Card Games

I'm gonna start by saying thank you Attack on Titan, you've taught me the means, and maybe even the soul, of the card game of Life Wars.

You see, what I've learned from watching the anime is that to get what you want (to succeed), you need to fight for it. Yeah, they don't have what they want yet, and are still suffering from tremendous loss (though making progress), the thing is that in the anime, the ONLY way they can get what they want is to fight. It's obvious in the show with their situation, but I realize that this is true in real life, with anything, and I'm applying that to the Life Wars card game.

The Life Wars card game isn't going to be like Yugioh, that focuses on damaging each other in brawls between monsters. Instead, you play as a character trying to "succeed" in life, and with the various things you make your character to do, you either gain or lose points. When a player hits the point limit (which is decided by the players beforehand), the game is over. (The person that hits the point limit either wins if its a positive number, or loses if it's a negative number.) Because of this, I didn't believe it to be a "fighting card game about battles", however Attack on Titan made me rethink this.

Life is a battle. The only way to succeed in life and get what you want is to fight through tough times and tough problems, with each person having problems unique to them. With different problems also comes different ways to fight against them; Strength and technique (Mikasa), determination and purpose (Eren), intelligence and strategy (Armin). Life itself is a battle, and so the Life Wars card game with embody that!